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  • Go Away Or I’ll Go Away
    Have you ever walked away rather than get in an argument? Have you ever given someone the silent treatment? Have you ever stayed out extra late to avoid interacting with Read more
  • Being Me and Us
    How can I be me when I’m with you? How can I accept the differences between us while remaining in relationship? These questions are the keys to healthy relationship in Read more
  • Managing Resistance with Help from The Vision Holder, The Naysayer, The Committed Worker, The Skeptic and The Cheerleader
    How Congregations Can Set Attainable Goals, Part 1 It’s not too hard to make a positive change in one’s life--for a day or two. The challenge comes in trying to maintain Read more
  • Dream, Prepare, Wait, Achieve
    When I set a goal I focus on the end product. I can envision myself, my family, or a group I belong to achieving the hoped fordream. Sometimes the picture Read more
  • Roots of Conflict
    The roots of conflict are often far deeper than the immediate situation indicates in families, as well as in church, synagogues, temples and other religious organization. This is both scary, Read more
  • Make and Break and Celebrate New Year’s Resolutions
    Many of us make and break resolutions annually. Even so, there is value in the process. Each year at this time, individuals, families, organizations and the media take time to look Read more
  • Congogram Outcomes
    Who benefits from the Congogram Counseling Process? The Congogram Process is for congregations of any faith or denomination. It was tested on congregations from three different traditions. Though the process can be Read more
  • Factions and Your Comfort Zone
    Feeling safe and working through emotions with people you trust can be good. But when does a close friendship or a supportive group of like-minded people turn into a faction Read more
  • Family and Congregational Systems Thanksgiving Prayer
    Listen/Watch Here.  We are family. We are church. We are community. We are co-workers. We are country. We belong. But it is I who gives thanks. For the times when I have Read more
  • Daily Life Brainstorming
    Stressful Situations: Productive Responses How do you respond when something happens at home, at work or in your congregations that you didn’t predict and don’t like? The other day I was in Read more
  • Affirmation
    “Thank you. I really appreciated that." These words light up the soul of any clergyperson or lay leader of a church, synagogue, temple or other congregation. When we hear good things Read more
  • Emotion as Outcome
    Setting and achieving goals is crucial to the life of any religious organization. We commit to projects, renovate buildings, hire staff, call clergy, serve people in need, increase membership, etc.  “Veins Read more
  • Speaking Your Mind to Manage Group Anxiety
    As a young priest Fr. Felipe often refrained from sharing his views with his parish, but one particular situation bothered him so much that he began to get headaches, lose Read more
  • Hearing Others: What Happens When You Listen Deeply
    Leaders often learn tools and techniques for effective listening. The most important one though is not usually taught. This tool addresses how listening affects us emotionally. Listening is risky business. That’s Read more
  • Achieving Personal Goals
    Do you want something in your life to change? Are you hoping for improved communication or a better relationship with your partner, children or parents? For better health? To complete Read more
  • When No One Tells
    Some families keep secrets from each other that last through generations. The same is true of churches and other congregations. In a family the unspoken subject might be sexual abuse, substance Read more

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